In an article for Fusion, feminist writer Lux Alptraum recalls her harrowing tales of sexual escapades, revealing how time after excruciating time, her encounters with men left her feeling violated and, despite having consented to the encounter, considering her subsequent regret over consenting a valid reason to put her male partners in the same moral – though admittedly not legal – category as rapists. From a boyfriend who “insinuated” he would break up with her if she didn’t sleep with him, to a date who drove from afar and “expected” sex as his reward for doing so, Alptraum repeatedly found herself wilfully participating in sexual encounters which she ended up regretting.
But rather than trying, through introspection, to understand why she makes the choices she makes, and/or why she later regrets them, Alptraum found the perfect scapegoats for her “traumatic and damaging sexual experiences”: the men with whom she slept.
In her article, Alptraum fully acknowledges that none of these encounters come anywhere near meeting the legal definition of rape. And yet, she somehow contends that the men, through “small acts of boundary-pushing and coercion”, are at fault.
Leaving aside her blatantly dishonest use of the word “coercion” in this context (since an act of sexual coercion is, by definition, rape, or at the very least sexual assault, and is certainly always criminal), and her intentional use of the highly ambiguous concept of “boundary-pushing”, Alptraum’s entire piece is an exercise in the now all-too-familiar attempt by feminists to portray all men as rapists. When a man has sex with a woman against her will, that is obviously rape. But when a man has sex with a woman who, as far as he knows (because this is what she chooses to convey to him), is as willing a participant in the act as he is, he may, unwittingly, be committing what Alptraum calls a “sexual microaggression”.
This is the feminist version of original sin: all men are sinners, and their sin is that they’re men. Whether they’re paying a woman a compliment, buying her a drink, or showing affection in a physical manner, if a man is trying to get a woman to have sex with him, he is encouraging her to make a choice she may later regret.
While claiming to advocate gender equality, feminists keep portraying women as intellectually inferior to men. A woman, by their logic, is incapable of knowing whether or not she’s making the right decision. A man, on the other hand, should not only know what’s best for him, but should also be more aware of his female sexual partner’s emotional process than she is.
I do not consider women inferior. Therefore, I am not a feminist. Despite feminists’ implications to the contrary, women are volitional beings, just like men, with the capacity to be rational (and, as Alptraum proves, irrational). And just as a woman is not at fault if a man regrets having sex with her, men should not be considered villains because some women change their mind after the act.